The Glamour Fiasco

Mom signed me up for this "glamour session" back in December (1999). I thought it sounded cool, if a little cheesy, so of course I went along with it. I got there and they gave me a tube top to change into, then they slathered make-up all over my face (and shoulders), did my hair, and led me in. These pics are the best of each pose - they took 19 photos, a few of each of four outfits. I couldn't stop laughing at the silliness of it all... anyway, here they are. And remember, these have been professionally airbrushed. BIG TIME. (When they arrived in the mail a few days ago, I held one up beside my face in the mirror and started laughing, 'cuz it looked nothing like me... <g>)

This is the "evening gown" outfit. LIES! ALL LIES! It was a 6-foot length of crushed velvet,
wrapped around me and pulled tight to maximize the boob action. This was the first outfit,
and the main reason I kept laughing throughout the session.

For this she let me choose what colour of feathers to wear. I kinda like this
picture, but at the same time, I look like a peacock... oh well,
it shows of the nice job done by the hair lady. :-)

Same feathers, this time off the shoulder. The smile's totally fake...
but Mom seems to like this one best. It's the only one that
merited an actual print. (We just have proofs for the rest.)

Yay, fake leather jacket. But at least it's better than the other ones they had on offer...
Move over, motorcycle babes, there's a new girl in town... LOL

Yet another jacket. This one's just a crappy little tux jacket thingy. But
I think this one is my favourite of all the pics. I guess 'cuz my face isn't
aimed at the camera, but my eyes are. Who knows.
(Ali joked that I should attatch this one to my resume... no.)

That's it, that's all. The others all involve me not smiling, one has my eyes shut... or they just plain look dumber than these ones. I think I like these pics even better because they DON'T look anything like me. (I usually don't wear make-up, and my hair's pretty much straight. And my face isn't that white, either, at least not normally.)

But the poses were the really wierd part - it looks like I'm sitting up straight, but every time I had to pose again, she'd tell me to do as follows (feel free to try this at home...):
1) turn your right side towards the camera
2) sit up straight
3) arch your back
4) lean back as far as possible without falling off the stool
5) twist your shoulders to the right (towards the camera)
6) tilt your head so it's perpendicular to the floor (ie really far to the left)
7) smile!
If you just follow this simple plan, you, too can become expert at falling off stools and landing in uncomfortable positions. <g>

Anyway, like I said before, that's it. But this time I mean it. Really. Stop reading.

Now, you can go
back to the main menu OR return to the scrapbook.
(Or you could just get lost. Either way.)

This page created on January 19, 2000.